I didn’t take care of myself for a long time. I neglected not only my physical health, but my mental health.
When I hit another bottom last summer, I truly felt there was no way out. I had only been working 10 hours a week, couldn’t pay my bills, I was in an unhappy relationship, I was overweight, I was grieving the loss of two grandparents, and all that was just a fraction of what I was dealing with. Basically I just felt like a loser who was going no where in life. I was seeing everyone around me move forward in their lives and I was remaining stagnant. I think that was the basis of my first issue.
You can’t compare your journey in life to anyone elses.
Thats what I was doing, comparing myself to what everyone else was doing. I was on my own path, and at the time I didn’t understand that path, so I just though poor me why can’t I have a life like that? Well shit, had I known the blessings that were to come into my life now I wouldn’t have thought that way, but thats the problem, we worry about the future, stress over the past, and we’re not about being in the present.
I felt like I couldn’t make progress because I had no money to do it which looking back that’s a stupid way of thinking because half the shit I do now to take care of myself doesn’t require money (future blog post).
I was applying for jobs left and right and couldn’t seem to catch a break until I got the phone call that changed my life. I FINALLY got a job in the makeup industry, this was finally the foot in the door I’d been waiting so long for!
Timing is everything because this job came at a time where I was so deep into my emotional hole I thought i’d never get out. I knew that in order to succeed at this job and create a better future for myself I had to start changing my ways.
But where to start? How do I start caring for myself?
That’s when I made a mental list of the things I wanted to start changing. What was at the top of this list? Getting in shape. I knew as much as I dreaded being seen at the gym, this is what I had to do for myself.
I knew the hardest part for myself was not wanting to look like an asshole while lifting weights, so to get a head start I hired a trainer and once I got comfortable with what to do I’d continue on my own.
So that’s what I did. I walked into the gym, met with my trainer, and did my first hour session. I have one word. Endorphins. Easily the best high there is, I left that session on cloud nine. It was the best I had felt in a really long time. I felt like I could do anything, I felt powerful, excited, and best of all, HAPPY.
Choosing fitness is only a fraction of my self care techniques, but it was the FIRST I chose to get me out of my pity party and it is something I will never stop doing. Fitness has become a huge part of my life now, a very healthy habit.
Self care looks different for everyone though. What I chose might not be what someone else chooses. Get a piece of paper or take a mental note. What is the thing you are most unhappy about? Think of actions you could take to make it better and then do them.
In my personal opinion I believe doing something active, that gets those happy hormones flowing is a great start. Guaranteed afterwards you will feel like a new person. I know I did.
I’ll be posting more on my fitness journey in the future! Stay tuned.